What is safe sex?

Safe sex means not allowing your partner's body fluids (blood, semen, vaginal fluids) into your body and vice versa. It can also mean covering up parts of the body that might be infectious (e.g. herpes, sores or warts) when you are having sex.

The only way to be 100% certain of never getting an STI is never to have sex at all. However, if you do want to have sex, there are ways that you can reduce your risk of catching or passing on an infection.

Safe vaginal or anal sex

Condoms

Condoms, used properly, are the most effective means of reducing the risk of getting or passing on an STI.

Lubricant should be used with a condom. It helps stop a condom from breaking and is essential for anal intercourse. Always choose a water-soluble lubricant (not petroleum jelly like Vaseline) and rub it on the outside of the condom.

When using condoms you should always remember:  

• Check the use by date on the packet.
• Open the packet carefully with your hands. Don't snag the condom with rings or fingernails
• Use the condom for the entire time you are having intercourse. Put the condom on before the penis comes into contact with the vagina or anus , and only when the penis is hard and erect.
• Squeeze the teat on the end of the condom between two fingers and hold it against the tip of the penis.
• Gently unroll the condom all the way down to the base of the penis. The penis should be withdrawn immediately after ejaculation with you or your partner holding the rim of the condom to stop any spillage.
• Slip the condom off carefully, wrap in paper and put in the bin (not down the toilet).
• You can only use a condom once. If you want to have sex again, put on a new condom.

The female condom

The female condom has been used in overseas countries for many years and has been available in Australia since 2000. The female condom is an alternative to the male condom as an effective barrier to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) during vaginal and anal sex.

Female condoms – the facts

• The female condom is designed to fit all women and is suitable for women of all ages.
• The female condom can be used during menstruation.
• Although these are called female condoms, some men may use them as a loose fitting condom for anal sex.
• The female condom is made of polyurethane, not latex, and is pre-lubricated with a silicone-based lubricant. People who are allergic to the latex used in male condoms or to the ingredients in water-based lubricants can use it. Oil based lubricant also can be used with the female condom.
• Unlike normal condoms, the female condom can be inserted well in advance of sexual penetration if preferred.
• The female condom conducts heat, so sex can feel more sensitive.
• When using a female condom, the male partner does not need to withdraw his penis immediately after climaxing.
• The female condom cannot be used with the male condom because this can cause the female condom to move out of place or the male condom to slip off.
• The female condom can only be used once.

Using a female condom

The female condom is a 17cm long condom with a flexible ring at each end. The outer ring at the open end covers the area around the opening of the vagina. The inner ring is used for insertion and to help hold the female condom in place.

How to insert the female condom (see picture)

1. Rub the sides of the female condom together to spread the lubricant.
2. Hold the inner ring between your thumb and middle finger.
3. Put your index finger on the pouch between your thumb and other fingers and squeeze the inner ring.
4. Slide it into your vagina as far as it will go. Push up the front of the inner ring so it slips into place. When it's in the right place you can't feel it. Don't worry - it can't go in too far and it won't hurt.
5. Make sure it is in the correct place and not twisted. The outer ring should be outside the vagina.
6. If the female condom bunches up when the penis is inserted into the vagina, stop, apply more lubricant and guide the penis into the female condom.
7. If it makes a noise that bothers you during sex, try adding extra lubricant.
8. After sex, remove the female condom before you stand up. Squeeze the outer ring and twist it. Pull the female condom out gently. Wrap it in tissues, or place in a plastic or paper bag and throw it in the rubbish bin, not in the toilet. Do not re-use it.

Female condoms are available from Family Planning WA (for about $2-3 each) and some chemists.

Picture: how to insert a female condom (picture courtesy of FPA Health)

Safe oral sex

Oral sex is less risky when it comes to catching or spreading an infection, but chlamydia and other STIs including HIV can be passed on through oral sex. To be as safe as possible, follow these guidelines:

Using dental dams

A dental dam (or oral dam) is a very thin, rectangular, "satin-like" piece of latex. It gets its name from the protective shield dentists use during oral surgery.

Dental dams will reduce the risk of transmission of many sexually transmitted infections, including HIV, but are not 100% effective.

While the thought of using a sheet of latex during oral sex may seem a little weird, dental dams are easy to use and don't decrease sensation during oral sex.

Dental dams are available from Family Planning WA (for about $1.00 each) and some chemists. For more information on dental dams see the FPWA website.

Sex toys

Sex toys can be lots of fun but you may not realise that they can pass on HIV and other sexually transmissible infections (STIs).

Reduce the number of people you have sex with

The more people you have sex with, the more likely it is that one or more of your partners will have an STI. Be especially careful if you have sex with people you don't know well. You are less likely to know if they have an STI or have had a check up recently. You cannot tell by looking at someone whether or not they have an infection. Unless you are certain that you and your partner do not have any STIs, use safe sex practices when you have sex.

If you are in a stable relationship

If you are in a stable relationship and neither you nor your partner have any other sexual partners, you can make sure that sex is safe by both having an STI check up. If all the results are negative (both yours and your partner's) it may be okay to have unprotected sex. You should discuss this with a doctor or health adviser because sometimes extra tests are required.

If you have had unsafe sex

Have an STI check up as soon as possible. If you have picked up an infection it may be possible to treat it before complications develop, and the sooner you know you have an STI, the less likely it is that you will unknowingly pass it on to someone else.

Be honest

If you have chlamydia or any other STI, you need to be up front about it. Talking about STIs can be really difficult, but any person you have sex with has a right to know if you have an STI. Plan to discuss it when you’re feeling relaxed and confident – not just before you have sex. Your partner will appreciate your honesty.

Other STIs

More information about other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and blood-borne viruses.